There's something called OpenGL
Tell me does it ring any bells?
If you like Direct X
You're Oedipus Rex
Which is freudian, can you not tell?

BearArsed is a wonderful chap
He never attempted to rap
He tried the guitar
Didn't get very far
And thus we say his skills are crap

LittleMiss is a web admin
For some reason she has a fin
She spliced with a cat
Hey fancy that
But obviously had too much gin

I'm friends with a guy called Ammar
He don't drink but he joins me at bars
His jokes are quite cruel
About as tasteful as gruel
But sometimes he takes it too far

Red Magnus is really called Simon
He sometimes says he's my mom
Why he uses that word
It is so absurd
Though maybe it's because he don't have one

Mia says she's Dr Dick
And she asked for a limerick
Though this is the net
So I just placed a bet
That she is really called Mick

Nikhil is one of my mates
Women keep saying he's great
He sees them at bars
And already they've gone far
I'm so glad that we don't double date

Evil didn't like the last one
I thought what the hell have I done?
The joys of this game
Must occasionally flame
Those of us who do own a gon*

*Gon is a gun in the Discworld novels. I know it's dubious. Leave me alone.

 Evil appears to stalk Kit
For he thinks that she is quite fit
He thinks she's a dame
Though they are all the same
And Drug thinks that he is a Git

My name on the net is Drug
Some people say I'm a bug
I write limericks
To get my kicks
So that's the hole I have dug